Heartbeat

Yesterday I had my second OB doctor's appointment.  I was thrilled that Landon was able to go with me this time.  I am a little disappointed that White County Hospital no longer delivers babies because it meant that I had to find a new doctor for this experience.  It is such an important time in your life, and you can get attached to a doctor you really trust.  So, sadly, I won't be using Dr. Griffin this time. 

I had a difficult time deciding who to use this time.  I didn't want to use the OB group in Cookeville because I have heard that you don't always get to see the same doctor, and the main reason...you aren't guaranteed what doctor you will have to deliver your baby.  I am sure there are wonderful doctors there, I just wanted to know who was going to deliver for sure.  I decided to use the Birth Center in Cookeville instead.  So far, I am impressed.  The delivery rooms are wonderful and much larger and homier than a hospital room.  I am going to go with a natural delivery and possibly a water birth.  I have never been interested in a water birth, but the more I learn about it, I am really considering it. 

It feels like forever since I have been pregnant.  Even now, it still doesn't feel real.  I think it is because I have wanted it for so long, and now I am afraid to get my hopes up because something still could happen.  However, yesterday it became more real to me.  The midwife asked if we would like to hear the heartbeat.  OF COURSE!!!  She said since I was only nine weeks it would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack, so I knew that there was a possibility that we wouldn't get to hear it.  After checking for a while, she asked me if I was certain of the due date.  The question made me start to panic a bit.  Landon could see it on my face.  After searching for what seemed like an eternity, all sorts of thoughts ran through my mind.  I began to think something was wrong and then I wondered how exactly I would handle it.  In the middle of my crazy thoughts she found it.  It is always one of the most wonderful sounds to hear.  Nine weeks and it has a heartbeat...166 beats to be exact.  My heart is full.

On the way home, we were listening to Big Daddy Weave's version of "Trust and Obey" and I started to tear up.  The words that I have sung so many times seemed to speak to me in a new way after my recent experience.  I did have my doubts and questioned God several times.  This song was a reminder to me to just simply trust Him and obey Him.  There is no other way to be happy.